Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Good Girls and Prayer

On Wednesdays I have the honor of sharing a thought, a prompt, a challenge, a prayer at the Well, part of the Story Sessions. I don't always link to what I write, but today I wanted to. I'd love for you to join me.

I don’t ask for what I need. I don’t ask for what I want.

If you are lucky, I might be able to squeak out how I feel, but only after holding it in as long as I can. But asking for what I need? Good girls don’t do that. We don’t rock the boat. We put others’ feelings first. We don’t want anyone to feel uncomfortable. We stay far away from that slippery slope of selfishness.

I don’t ask for what I need. I don’t ask for what I want.

It’s problematic, and unhealthy. I’m well aware of it. I see the issues it creates. So many issues. And in the end it is a matter of trust. I have been taught not to trust the person I need something from. And I have been taught not to trust myself.

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When I pray, I don’t ask for what I need. I don’t ask for what I want.

I’m a good girl. And I’ve been taught in a hundred different ways that we pray for others. We pray for family members battling hard against illnesses that tend to win. We pray for children to be brave, to make friends, to hear God’s voice, to stay healthy. We pray for our spouses. We pray for our friends. We pray for Nigerian girls kidnapped from their school. We pray for Syria, Iraq, Egypt, North Korea…….

But do we pray for what we need?

I feel so selfish, so indulgent, so ungrateful when I pray for myself. I recognize the privilege I have. So how do I ask for opportunities in writing, favor with a publisher, an agent, and the ability to balance writing and family/all the other things that we have going on?

Is this you? Do you have a difficult time verbalizing what you need? Is it almost impossible to ask for what you want?


To read the rest join us at The Well.......

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