Thursday, May 29, 2014

We Will Call It Good

I've been waking early the past few weeks. Each morning I have a fleeting thought that perhaps I can use this time to write, but I am usually far too groggy for that. More often than not, a little curly haired girl finds her way to where I am camped out and curls up, head on shoulder, for another hour of cozy sleep. Today has been no exception.

Each winter I look forward to May…..there is something about this month that fills me with such hope. But then May arrives and I remember how hectic it tends to become. Preschool wraps up and the end of school year picnics, recitals, concerts, and shows begin. And now that my big girl is entering public school next year, we add to it the mad dash of doctor, dentist, and eye appointments so all her paperwork is turned in on time.

My list today is a mile long. I have nine hours of babysitter time (a complete luxury I readily admit) and indecision grips me – use the time to clean the house and organize or write? The reality that I will be interrupted every 30 minutes even with the help is not lost on me, and as I stand in the dining room, coffee cup cradled in my hands as a cool breeze blows through my house, all I really want to do is sit on the couch with them all day long. I want a good day.


They tell those of us with little kids that it passes quickly and we will miss it. And while we acknowledge the truth, we roll our eyes because when you are severely sleep deprived and spend your entire day changing diapers and everything is so hard because you have three under three, it doesn’t matter. But here I stand with a six (and ¾), five, and three year old alongside me and I want this summer to freeze in time.



I want lazy days where they all crawl in bed with me as they watch PBS kids while I read. I want mornings of pancake breakfasts and pajamas. I want afternoons filled with sprinklers and sidewalk chalk and riding bikes through the park. I want cuddles on the couch as we read each and every book in this house. I want adventures in the city, days at the beach, and time at the pool. I want them to look back and remember each and every day was good.

I also want my house to be magically clean each day. I want the groceries to just appear in my refrigerator. I want to suddenly not care that the floor is sticky and that if it stays sticky one moment longer we will have an ant infestation. I want to not feel rushed to get everything done. I want to have hours to write each day without it taking away time from anyone.

I don’t want my arms to be so sore from constantly juggling my responsibilities.

But.

I know that’s not what my summer is going to look like.

It will have bits and pieces of that, yes. It will also have time spent cleaning rooms, putting away laundry, and unloading the dishwasher. It will have spelling pages and math worksheets. There will be hours spent in the van as we drop off and pick up from summer activities. And when the weather gets so hot that we forget how cold we were this summer, there will be afternoons camped out near a window air conditioner watching Frozen for the two-hundredth and thirty-seventh time.


So today I’ll try to write, but I’ll also do some laundry, clean up some rooms, and wash the dishes. I’ll let them sit next to me for a bit, passing over crayons and asking them to do the illustrations. Then I’ll shut the door and take all that love for them, and all my hopes and dreams that I carry for them, and put them on paper. I’ll write words about how my girls are whole. How they can do and be whatever they want. How the voice that God gave them is good and they are worthy of using it.


After dinner we will sit on the couch together, we will tell each other about our day, and call it good.


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What does a good day look like for you?

10 comments:

  1. A good day for me looks like not losing my temper with the kids, having lots of snuggles and laughing, probably an art project thrown in, enjoying cooking dinner, and then sipping red wine with my husband after we finally get the munchkins tucked in. I crave these days right now. Really beautiful post! I look forward to getting all our kids together some day. :)

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  2. A good day for me looks like outside adventures, smiling children, lots of "I love yous," no yelling, tons of snuggles, delicious foodstuffs, communication with friends and distant family via internet, some writing and reading, and the sound of my husband telling me I'm beautiful.

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  3. I smiled as I read your post remembering those rare and precious days of being of mommy who loved her girls to pieces....You know, even if you couldn't give them lessons and fun activities, what they will always remember is that you were there for them, and loving every moment with them....and it will be remembered as good

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  4. Ah, yes. "Call it good." Even now, after the children are long gone, there are days like this. And I am learning to call them all good, whatever they bring. Beautifully said, Brenna. Thank you.

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  5. Melinda CadwalladerMay 30, 2014 at 11:35 PM

    Oh yes. A good day, these days, is an empty box to turn into a space ship, a window open to bring in the warm breeze, and a rested mama with no agenda.

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  6. Pretty close to my perfect day as well :)

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  7. Rest. Yes, praying rest for you!!

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  8. To see each day as good no matter the circumstances......I hope I learn to do that!

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