Thursday, November 8, 2012

Day 8 - Parceling Out My Minutes

I have been learning to listen. To stop in the business of mothering and writing and wait for a hush to fall. And in that silence, to hear.

That scratchy persistent throat of mine was too hoarse to speak the words that needed to be said. It wasn't until I laid my head on my pillow last night, after a dose of Sudafed and several cups of tea, that I heard.....let's have a home day.

Kathryn is in preschool five days a week as she prepares for Kindergarten, but every so often all of our weary bones and souls cry out for a home day. We cancel everything and vow to stay in our pjs. The candle burns warm all day and lunch and dinner are meals that are cooked slow. We watch all the fairy movies we could want and snacks are all courtesy of Pirate's Booty. 

Today we are wearing fleece, wrapped in blankets and are taking time to breathe. 

In my old life, the one before kids, I was go, go, go. I had at least one job and as a result became adept at managing my most precious commodity - time. And yet, these days of mothering and loving my husband and writing and making a home and churching have left me feeling bone dry.

It wasn't until Anne over at Modern Mrs. Darcy spelled it out that I realized that I needed to be in the business of energy management  not time management.

I'm weak not from too many minutes, but from too little energy.

And so I am measuring out my time, oh so carefully, minutes at a time, keeping a close eye on the scale so it doesn't all go awry. These minutes represent more than just my time - its how much energy I have for the things I love. I don't just watch the clock. I listen to my heartbeat.




But today, today's minutes will be parceled out freely to anyone willing to stay under the soft warmth of our pile of blankets.


******

036 - Soft, cozy blankets (If I have already used this one, apologies, but I am so grateful for them that I must say it over and over.
037 - Text messages at just the right time that make me feel loved.
038 - The sound of Lucy saying "tickle, tickle, tickle" as she tries to make her big sisters laugh.
039 - 2 cases of Coke Zero
040 - Listening to still, small voices that offer rest




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