Tuesday, September 18, 2012

As I Prepare for STORY...

I can feel a shift and it’s shaking me to my core. I felt the goodness of God on Sunday. I felt the goodness of His beautiful people. And today, before my feet felt the soft carpet of my bedroom floor, with one girl next to me sleeping after a hard fought night of rest, and another wrapped in my arm, planting soft kisses on my mouth and cheek, I whispered to God. I asked for this moment of peace to follow us through the day. And I asked to see the areas where He is working.

This week I’m going to do the kind of thing that scares me. And it makes me feel tiny, and insignificant, and completely crazy. But I’m going…I don’t have a choice anymore.

So I do what I know how to do. 
I make lists of things the babysitter needs to know. Schedules. 
Meals plans. 
Extra cookies. 
Lay out clothes. 
Try to clean. 
Give extra hugs.

The Avett Brothers sing their sweet song….I And Love And You…….

And I cook. I slow cook the sweet onions in a pool of olive oil and a sprinkle of kosher salt. As they turn gold I add in the eggplant. Another drizzle of olive oil and a palm of curry powder.

There is something wonderful about the way that curry powder, real curry powder from the Indian grocer, smells as it warms in the hot oil, releasing its own oils, filling my home with an aroma that I hope I’ll smell at Heaven’s gates. 

As it cooks down I add the diced tomatoes and let it simmer until it’s time. I add that to a bowl of couscous cooked with golden raisins and dates which, strike it up to the lifetime of Sunday School lessons, make me feel like I’m sharing a meal with Jesus.  A handful of walnuts, chopped mint and some goat cheese and I get to hold something in my hand that is good.

I pick up Lucy who’s been fussy all week, holding her close to me, her sweet head resting on my shoulder. And we slow dance to Amos Lee. And my heart is bursting open for her, the way it does each time I stop to see her. And I don’t have room for nerves or feelings of inadequacy. Only room for loving my girl.

And I think about where I might have seen God working the past two days. Where did I see His Kingdom?

I breathe in the smell of curry and breathe out the Kingdom. And now I know what He’s been up to this week.

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